She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
