If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
I stole a fireplace last night.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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