You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
third nipple confirmed
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
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