he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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