Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
Randomize
