Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Randomize
