yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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