Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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