morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
Randomize
