i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
