The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
