Don't you send me to vm
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Randomize
