Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize
