I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
...so i touched it.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
my poor anus
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
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