well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Randomize
