My liver just broke up with me...
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
