Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
This is classic penis vs brain.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
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