Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
