um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
