I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Randomize
