the condom got lost in my hair
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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