i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
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