We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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