so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
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