I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
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