That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Randomize
