oh fat girl friday strikes again...
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
