so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
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