I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Randomize
