So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Randomize
