currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize
