She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Randomize
