and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Randomize
