Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
Randomize
