maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
