Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
You don't make any sense
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