Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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