Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
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