butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
She announced her abortion via fbk
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Randomize
