Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Randomize
