I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Randomize
