Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
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