btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
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