doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
My hair reeks of homosexuality.
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
This is my gift to your gina
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
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