dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
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