I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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