careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
