Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
I believe in your delicious
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Randomize
