ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
I FOUND THE LEGS
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Randomize
