Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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