i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Randomize
